Our Heavenly Father Does Work in Mysterious Ways

Last night I finished reading Anita Stansfield's A Time to Dance. I really enjoyed reading it and its prequel, Timeless Waltz. (Thanks Tanya for lending them to me.) The part that really jumped out at me was on page 195. The father of the main character, Alex, had had an affair 23 or so years before and caused his wife to divorce him and Alex to hate him for 20 or so odd years. That was the subject of the first book. Anyway, Neil (the one who had had the affair) had recently found out that he had fathered a son whom he had no clue of until Wade revealed himself as his son. Wade had been raised in a loving family and just recently found out that the man he had known as his father his whole life was not his biological father. It really threw him and his life into a tailspin. The scene is Neil and his second wife Roxanne and Neil's two daughters and two sons, Alex and Wade at the dinner table. Neil said, "....it wasn't until recently that I finally grasped the reasons why this sin is often compared to murder in its grievosuness. When murder is committed, a life is taken, and it can never be given back. In this case, a life was created and it can never be undone....." That was an epiphany for me too. I had always equated unchastity or the losing of virtue as "once lost it could never be reclaimed" and not in the light of creating a life that couldn't be undone. I found it very interesting. Then as the story developed there was a real reason for Wade to have entered Alex's and his dad's life and also gave more meaning to Wade's existance too. There was a reason for it all and our Heavenly Father knew of all the developements and planned accordingly. But then this was only fiction.

Then there is our own story in our family. Our only daughter became rebelious and married at age 16 to have her first daughter and our first grandchild only seven months later at age 17. I would hate to think of someone else reapping the blessings of our dear sweet Shandel. She has been such a blessing to both her parents lives and our lives. And I think everyone with whom she has associated. She is a beautiful young woman who is a mother now in her own right. But as far as the "plan" and Heavenly Father's involvement you ask? Well, the man that our daughter married was even more rebellious than she was. In fact, as he was growing up he was the neighborhood hellion, to put it mildly. There were quite a few children in our ward of their age (our #2 son being one of them) and so they had two primary classes their age. The leaders always made sure that my future son-in-law (I can't help but think that it really is a blessing not being able to see the future) and his best friend were in two different classes or there would have been double trouble. I only mention this so one can imagine what kind of a very young man that our daughter married. (He was only 18 at the time and became a father when 19.) Well, they had been married about three years or so and I was driving home from somewhere, I can't remember where, and wasn't thinking about anything in particular when the tho't popped into my head, "If this were the only way Kent could make it to the celestial kingdom were to have married Karen and be exopsed to the gospel this way, would you be willing to have gone thro' what you have been thro' with them....the out of wedlock pregnancy, quick marriage, reception and birth of the baby etc.? I tho't really hard about that question. It wasn't too long, (I was driving up Melrose, my short street where I live when the tho't came and I had the answer before I reached home) before I was able to answer honestly and whole heartly, "Yes, it would be worth it!" By that time my opinion of my son-in-law had changed quite a bit. I could see that he was a dedicated, hard working young man who did love his wife and daughter. They had been married 12 1/2 years before Kent got his revelation and became active and they were sealed in the temple with their three daughters. I had learned about unconditional love and accepting people for who they were and not expecting them to be someone else. I had many people tell me that their parents would have disowned them in similar circumstances or that they would have difficulty having a reception for their children if they had gotten married under similar circumstances. We had a very wise bishop at that time who said that altho' Karen & Kent at first didn't want a reception or to have to face the people in our mutual ward, that they really needed the reception. I tho't at first it was to help them get started with the household items that they would need to set up house keeping. But I learned that because of the love and support that we and they received from everyone in our ward and families that it made it possible for them and us to hold our heads up and meet the world and the situation head on and without shame. We had more people come to their reception than the receptions or openhouses for any of our other children. We really felt the love and support of the ward at that time. The bishop had told my husband that we needed to announce their engagement and coming marriage as soon as possible in the paper. We started receiving that love and support almost immediately. The hardest part was telling our families. I was mean and made Karen tell my mother and my sister Bonnie. I knew it would be hard for her but I felt it was part of the "natural consequences". Altho' it was rather traumatic at the time we have been greatly blessed by their marriage and having them just down I-15 from us. At first it was even long distance from here to there when they first married. It no longer is. That way they had to work out their own problems instead of calling either parent to cry or complain. When they had been married ten years lacking a couple of days, I said, "In a couple of days it will be your wedding annversary." And Karen said, "Yes, we've had five wonderful years of marriage." I said, "But you have been married ten years!" And Karen said, "The first five weren't worth counting." I chuckled but I tho't then it was just as well that they didn't live so close that I was aware of that or their marriage wouldn't have lasted. I am thankful that things have worked out the way they have. As I read that book I was able to identify with that passage that I quoted above and knew that the Lord knew what would happen if our lives even tho' we didn't. I am thankful that Kent is part of our family and consider him our fifth son. I know that each one of our children and their sweethearts as well as their children were meant to be part of our forever family. I'm thankful for each one of them and love them with all my heart.