The Musings of a Mother

I can't believe it. Richard turns 30 today! He was born about 8:00 pm on a Wednesday night. I had toxemia for the second time and wasn't dilating even with the PIT going. (Oh that is wicked stuff!) His heart rate started going down and my kidneys had quit functioning (I could tell because they insert a catheter to monitor my urine after administering the magnesium sulfate which they gave to prevent seizures.) My B/P was also going up higher. So they decided to take him C-Section. Since I had had toxemia with Kim eight years before, the doctor explained that I would probably have it with the next one too and that we needed to think about a tubal ligation to prevent anymore pregnancies. I had had a stroke when Kim was almost three weeks old secondary to the toxemia that I had had while carrying him. Hence the eight years between Kim and Richard. My sweetheart had told me that he'd rather have me to help raise the four we had than to have five to raise alone. But I had always felt that our family wasn't complete. I remember Kim saying he felt the same way and he remembered setting the table for seven instead of six and we weren't expecting company. As soon as I held Richard in my arms I felt that our family was complete. I would be very surprised when I get on the other side if I found out that I was to have had more. I just know that I had agreed to have these five children. My first three were so close (Bryan lacked seven weeks of being three, Michael was only 20 months old when Karen was born [he would have been 21 months in three days].) Then Kim came along 2 1/2 years later. So Bryan was 13, Michael 12, Karen 10 and Kim 8 when Richard was born. We all enjoyed him so much. Bryan and Richard were very close until Bryan left on his mission. He went to BYU for nine months before then too. It was neat to watch Bryan and his little brother and how they interacted. I remember Michael saying to me before Richard was born, "I suppose we are going to have to change his diapers too." I explained that it was entirely up to him whether or not he changed the baby's diapers but he must remember that that was when one played with the baby and got to know him and he know you was when you changed him. I don't remember Michael ever changing Richard when he was little. But I do remember Bryan doing it often. Thus they were very close. Michael and Richard didn't get close until Richard graduated from high school. They are still very close. However, with Richard living in Phoenix it is hard for him to be close to any of his siblings at this time. =) The year Richard was born Bryan was on split sessions because of the building of the new Bonneville high school. RS was on Wednesday morning then. I would leave Richard home with Bryan and be home by 11:30 so Bryan could catch the bus at noon for school. This one day, it was spring and fairly warm so Richard would have been five months old or so, I had gone to RS and came back and the back door was open but no Bryan. Richard was in his crib lying there cooing and perfectly happy. I went down stairs and still no Bryan. I was really puzzled. Then the phone rang. It was Bryan. He said that Richard had been asleep so he was outside on the driveway shooting baskets and his math teacher drove up and wanted to know if he wanted to go early to practice for the upcoming math meet that was on Friday. He said, "I didn't even think about Richard. I just tossed the basketball down stairs and left." He apologized. I could tell he felt really bad. I told him that Richard was okay and I determined that it had been only about ten minutes or so until I had arrived home since he had left. It was an adjustment for all of us to get used to a little baby again. But he brought so much joy into our lives that it wasn't hard to adjust. By the time he was in fourth grade he was the only child at home. So I got to know him a little better in some ways. I had a special relationship with each of my children but I had more time with just Richard. I didn't have much one on one time with each of the others (which I wish I had realized how important it was to make that one on one time with each one of them.) I was so close to Richard while he was the only one home that when he was a sopohmore in high school I would think about his only having two years left at home and then it would just be my sweetheart and me there. It actually frightened me as well as saddened me. But with his being active in debate and going on over night trips to debate tournaments etc. his junior and senior year he weaned himself away gradually and I was okay once he graduated. After Karl became a custodian and was gone every Friday afternoon, during his sophomore year those Fridays were our special time together. We would order in Pizza or go to Wendy's to eat supper and watch something special on TV or play games. I really enjoyed those times with him. During his last two years I was just home alone on Friday nights. But that did help me to get used to not having him around (when he moved out to live with Michael & Tanya for a while) after he graduated from high school. Some people have asked if Richard were an "after thought" since there were so many years between him and Kim. I'd say, "No, the first one and last one were planned." I remember making him a t-shirt with "My Friend" stamped on it advertizing The Children's Friend. I think that was when it went from The Children's Friend to just The Friend. I remember someone asking him who his friend was and he replied, "My mom". That made me feel so good. I enjoyed making many shirts for him. I remember feeling like we were on the same "wave lenght" often. One Christmas, I think his junior year, after opening our gifts and Karl going back to rest (he had doubled back the afternoon before after getting off work about 7:30 am he had to be back by 4:00 pm). Richard and I were playing the game Mastermind. He had just put his colors in his slots and and the phone rang. He went to answer it. It was one of his friends (Chad I think) and while he talked I tried to guess which colors he had put in. When he came back he accused me of peeking. I hadn't but it was the first time on those colors and I had them all right and in the right order! I later found out that I couldn't be a successful Mr. X when he was playing because I couldn't "hide" from him. He knew how I tho't! Needless to say I am very thankful that he was born and is a member of our forever family. I love him very much as well as his wife and children. My life wouldn't be as rich as it is without them in it. (Needless to say that I feel the same way about all of my children and their sweethearts and their children.)